Oops

Life is good....when life is good I eat, when life is not good I eat!! This past week has been cray busy. The baby has had appointments, all 5 dogs had to be groomed this week, Bea had the dentist and I had to fit in taking the baby to his visits as well!. I missed a proper lunch about 5 times and we had takeaway fast food twice this week, which is unheard of for me. We also only had a proper dinner ,maybe, 4 times.

I know, I know, that is no excuse for not eating properly. I like to eat something that is easy to prepare and quick to eat so for me that means biscuits, cold meat, yoghurts and that kind of thing...oh and baking chocolate ( the stuff in big blocks from Walmart..$3 each and quite nice in an emergency) Come on girls I know you have done it too!!!!

I weighed 293.2 this morning so I am back where I started 2 weeks ago. This is totally normal for my dieting life. I have lost weight on WW and I have lost weight at Curves. I also have done the Cambridge Diet, the Atkins Diet, and any other diet you can mention. It is always easy to lose the weight but never easy to keep it off.

I feel that, why should I try to lose weight?. I have a husband who loves me to bits, a home, a lovely career as a foster parent and I am still able to get about and do what I want to do. I do have some health issues, mainly a back problem from 20 years ago when I started nursing, but I cope.

I saw a news article today that said if you have low self esteem then you shouldn't visit Facebook as moaning makes your friends miserable and then they unfriend you!!! Tell me something I didn't know. I left Facebook for a while, and then came back so that I could keep tabs on Ben out in Grande Prairie, but now I am having serious doubts about staying as the posts are boring, moaning or God bothering!! We shall see.!

Okay, enough for now. I think I have finished moaning and so we shall see how many people unfriend me due to my low self-esteem!!! But seriously , how many people take offence when, after posting something on Facebook, nobody comments? More than would care to admit it I bet...

Okay, now that really is enough before I offend the whole of the universe!

Cheerio

Enough

Okay, enough mucking about. I realised this morning that I have been on a diet for 33 of my 44 years here on this earth. I have lost the same weight time and time again.
I first went to WW at age 11 and lost 28lbs . You would think that I would have learned my lesson in humiliation and kept to a "normal" weight for my age, but no.

I was thinking, as I am wont to do every so often, that if you have to be addicted to something then food is THE worst thing. If you have a problem with alcohol, tobacco, weed, heroin or even sex then you can get clean, sober or whatever and never have those things in your life again. Not so with food. Everyone has to eat, to survive, to live so banishment is not an option. Unless you want to live on Ensure or Boost and never buy solid food again. ( hey,thats a thought!) but I don't think the family would like that idea.

Yesterday I weighed 292.6lbs, a gain of 1.4lbs this week. See I knew it couldn't last. One week I did it for, one lousy stinking week! This is normally where I would give up and drown myself in Cadbury's and Ben and Jerry's but not this time ( cue piano music and drums rising to a rousing crescendo, crashing waves etc etc) I am going to follow my never fail diet plan, that obviously does fail if not followed.

I have the books, I have the knowledge and I can rebuild my shattered self-esteem in time for.....whenever. There is no time scale, no event or appointment that I have to get thin for, I know, I lead a very sheltered life!

I think that is all for today but I had to get my thoughts down on the blog while they were still fresh in my mind and in black and white for all to see. Amazing what goes through one's head at 2 in the morning whilst feeding the baby!

Stay tuned for more rambled musings soon...